Essay Writing in English
งานเมื่อวันที่ 18-11-09 และ 24-11-09 รวบไปเลยสองงาน เพราะมันเเหมือนจะต่อกัน - -
Harmony
Topic: Ron; the fireman
Build-up (Before the accident) Telling what the hero thinking and feeling: On that day, I had off and felt really comfortable. Then I met my friend and talked to her. I felt very happy.
Conflict/victim (1st ): While we were walking back home, I found that her house was on fire. I told her to call the fire station and the ambulance. I also told her that ‘You have to calm down, your parents will be safe trust me’.
Rewrite in (3rd )past tense: While they were walking back home, he found that her house was on fire. He told her to call the fire station and the ambulance. He also told her that ‘she have to calm down, as her parents will be safe trust him’.
Hero Action & Ending (1st ): I went inside her house. I went her mother from the kitchen, and then I went inside again to help her father that was upstairs. They were safe.
Hero (3rd ): He went inside her house. He went her mother from the kitchen, and then he went inside again to help her father that was upstairs. They were safe.
Stella
Topic: Sam; The race car driver
Build-up (Before the accident) Telling what the hero thinking and feeling:One day I had to compete in the race, I felt very excited and wanted to win.
Conflict/victim (1st ):I was glad that I was going to win this race, when suddenly I heard a car crash. I stopped. My car immediately and looked back. I felt that I had to help him no matter if I won or not.
Rewrite in (3rd )past tense: He was glad that He was going to win this race, when suddenly he heard a car crash. He stopped his car immediately and looked back. He felt that he had to help that man no matter if he won or not.
Hero Action & Ending (1st ): I helped him out of the car, he looked so terrible. While we were running out of that area, the car explored. Both of us were safe.
Hero (3rd ): He helped that man out of the car, that man looked so terrible. While they were running out of that area, the car explored. Both of us were safe.
Molina
Topic: ; Truck driver
Build-up (Before the accident) Telling what the hero thinking and feeling: I felt good because I liked to help my friend when they had a problem.
Conflict/victim (1st ):When I saw the car had crashed into the trees. I felt frightened. Then, I hurried up to help them.
Rewrite in (3rd )past tense: When he saw the car had crashed into the trees. He felt frightened. Then, he hurried up to help them.
Hero Action & Ending (1st ): After, they were safe. They went to my office and thanked me. I felt happy when I saw them again.
Hero (3rd ): After, they were safe, they went to his office and thanked him. He felt happy when he saw them again.
Diana
Topic:; flight attendant
Build-up (Before the accident) Telling what the hero thinking and feeling: One day, when he piloted flight to London, he helped people on the plane. I think he will became a hero soon.
Conflict/victim (1st ): While I was sitting on a place suddenly it felt down into the ocean. I was very scared. If I were a super-man I would help everyone on a plane. Until everyone felt well.
Rewrite in (3rd )past tense: While he was sitting on a place suddenly it felt down into the ocean. He was very scared. If he were a super-man he would help everyone on a plane. Until everyone felt well.
Hero Action & Ending (1st ): After that I will calling to a plane attendant to help us and keep everyone out side of a plane. Because many people dead on a plane.
Hero (3rd ): He talked to hurt people how dose you feel right now. I am feel OK. He can help and asking hurt people. Then I think I call him ‘HERO’ at this time.
Iris
Topic: Boonperm; the policeman
Build-up (Before the accident) Telling what the hero thinking and feeling: One day, I met a woman who was crying and saw a thief who stole jewelry. I felt very excited and I had to save life.
Conflict/victim (1st ): When I met a crowd of people around a woman who was crying at a jewelry shop, I felt amazed. The thief stole jewelry and took the girl to be hostage. I felt shock.
Rewrite in (3rd )past tense: When he met a crowd of people around a woman who was crying at a jewelry shop, he felt amazed. The thief stole jewelry and took the girl to be hostage. He felt shock.
Hero Action & Ending (1st ): I talked to the thief and I said that ‘What do you want?’. The thief replied ‘I want money’. While everybody was excited. I ran to catch the thief and I safe hostage from the thief. I was happy and I felt relieve.
Hero (3rd ): He talked to the thief and he said that ‘What do you want?’. The thief replied ‘I want money’. While everybody was excited. He ran to catch the thief and He safe hostage from the thief. He was happy and he felt relieve.
Candy
Topic: ; pizza delivery boy
Build-up (Before the accident) Telling what the hero thinking and feeling: One day, I found the two car bomes and the girl was trying to escape from this event. I felt very excited and tried to help her.
Conflict/victim (1st ): After that, an ambulance came to receive her, I felt worried for the young woman’s life because I saw her get very hurt. I asked her ‘Are you OK?’. She said ‘No, help me please’.
Rewrite in (3rd )past tense: After that, an ambulance came to receive her, He felt worried for the young woman’s life because He saw her get very hurt. He asked her ‘Are you OK?’. She said ‘No, help me please’.
Hero Action & Ending (1st ): I told doctor ‘I have to go now’ please take care her. After that, I could send a pizza on time. And I heard that she was safe. After that I receive 100,000 Bath and then everyone called me ‘HERO’.
Hero (3rd ): He told the doctor ‘He have to go now’ please take care her. After that, He could send a pizza on time. And He heard that she was safe. After that he receive 100,000 Bath and then everyone called him ‘HERO’.
Hunter
Topic:; animal attack
Build-up (Before the accident) Telling what the hero thinking and feeling: I was very surprised and wondered at seeing a girl. Because in my empire women were less fewer than men. I wondered and want to know where she come from.
Conflict/victim (1st ): Rewrite in (3rd )past tense: ไม่มาเลยไมได้ทำ
Hero Action & Ending (1st ): Hero (3rd ): ไม่มาเลยไมได้ทำ
Melody
Topic: Micky; the construction worker
Build-up (Before the accident) Telling what the hero thinking and feeling: I felt to proud because I could help somebody from bad situation.
Conflict/victim (1st ): When I was coming back to the house. I heard the sound of something near by ‘Help me, please’. I ran to find where the sound coming from. I saw a big stone falling from the old building and I saw a little girl who stayed down stairs in the old building. Immediately I ran to help her. I held her arm tightly.
Rewrite in (3rd )past tense: When he was coming back to the house. He heard the sound of something near by ‘Help me, please’. He ran to find where the sound was coming from. He saw a big stone falling from the old building and he saw a little girl who stayed down stairs in the old building. Immediately he ran to help her. He held her arm tightly.
Hero Action & Ending (1st ):After that I help her of arm recently. Then I ran out from that. I told her ‘don’t worry yourself’ . I felt to proud, because I could help her from bad situation.
Hero (3rd ): After that he help her of arm recently. Then he ran out from that. He told her ‘don’t worry yourself’ . He felt to proud, because he could help her from bad situation.
Alex
Topic: Audy; the magician
Build-up (Before the accident) Telling what the hero thinking and feeling: I was very excited when I went to show around the world. It made me feel pressure when I went to practice my magic.
Conflict/victim (1st ): I saw the girl, that she was running. I thought that something was going to happen. And then I saw one man following the girl with a gun in his hand. And he was going to shot the girl. I decided to follow them. I felt very excited and wanted to help her.
Rewrite in (3rd )past tense: He saw the girl, that she was running. He thought that something was going to happen. And then he saw one man following the girl with a gun in his hand. That man was going to shot the girl. The magician decided to follow them. He felt very excited and wanted to help her.
Hero Action & Ending (1st ): I saw the girl in danger. I would use my magic to help her escape. That man was very surprised. I felt tried after using magic, but I could help her from that man. I felt very happy.
Hero (3rd ): The magician saw the girl in danger. He would use my magic to rescue her. After that thief was very surprised. He felt tried after using magic, but he could help that girl from the thief. He felt very happy.
Pam
Topic: the fisherman
Build-up (Before the accident) Telling what the hero thinking and feeling: I was very scared by the bite of the shark and frightened by this situation.
Conflict/victim (1st ): I was very happy and thought if I were a super heroine. I would assist the injured.
Rewrite in (3rd )past tense:She felt cared and frighten to met a shark.
Hero Action & Ending (1st ): After that I killed a shark but my arm got hurt and I was safe her from the shark. // I helped her by a pulling a rope and use the lance to fight a shark.
Hero (3rd ):After that He killed a shark but his arm got hurt and he had saved her from the shark.
Diva
Topic: sailor
Build-up (Before the accident) Telling what the hero thinking and feeling: I was very happy when I was journey in the ocean. Then, I was take a nap because I was tried.
Conflict/victim (1st ): At the same time, I felt frightened and happy when I brought a whale on to the boat.
Rewrite in (3rd )past tense: He felt frightened and happy when he brought a whale on to the boat.
Hero Action & Ending (1st ): I was sent an injured Whale to hospital and took care of it everyday. Then I bought it back to the ocean.
Hero (3rd ): He sent the injured Whale to hospital and took care of it everyday. Then he bought it back to the ocean.
Deena
Topic: Valentine; the mountaineer
Build-up (Before the accident) Telling what the hero thinking and feeling: I was proud of myself but, when I was in that event, I couldn’t forget and thought of every way to helping everyone.
Conflict/victim (1st ): When I am in the situation, I feel very scared but I always find a way to help everyone. When anyone has many problems. On the mountain, I can help them.
Rewrite in (3rd )past tense: she was very frighten when. She fallen on the mountain.
Hero Action & Ending (1st ): I brought many items of equipment in my security bag to help her but took too long. Because she ran out of energy for down from the mountain but I bring her from the mountain successfully.
Hero (3rd ):She brought many items of equipment in her security bag to help that girl but took too long. Because she ran out of energy for down from the mountain but she bring that girl from the mountain successfully.
April
Topic: Jack; the soldier
Build-up (Before the accident) Telling what the hero thinking and feeling: I was happy when I joined the army because I wanted to help people.
Conflict/victim (1st ): I feel very excited and scared, but I want to help a kid from the fire.
Rewrite in (3rd )past tense: He feel very exciting and scary, but he want to help kid from the fire.
Hero Action & Ending (1st ): Although I going to died but I felt proud myself when I helped my country.
Hero (3rd ): Although he was going to die but he felt proud of himself when he helped his country.
Jane
Topic: Michal; the explorer
Build-up (Before the accident) Telling what the hero thinking and feeling: I was excited because I was going to explore the jungle.
Conflict/victim (1st ): I felt very terrible and lonely because my friends had died. They had died of jungle fever.
Rewrite in (3rd )past tense: He felt very terrible and lonely because his friends had died. They had died of jungle fever.
Hero Action & Ending (1st ): I am so happy because I can complete my mission. Although I have to sacrifice myself. I am glad that everyone would survive.
Hero (3rd ): He am so happy because he can complete his mission. Although He had to sacrifice himself. If he was glad that everyone would survive.
Owa
Topic:; the airplane pilot
Build-up (Before the accident) Telling what the hero thinking and feeling: It was very dangerous. I had to help anyone. It was very hard to control. Finally, I could save everyone’s life. I felt very fearful and excited. I was very glad that I could save everyone life.
Conflict/victim (1st ): When another airplane crashed the fail of the airplane that I was controlling. My airplane is tail caught fire and fell from the sky. I tried to control it. I felt very fearful and excited.
Rewrite in (3rd )past tense: When another airplane crashed the tail of the airplane that he was controlling. His airplane’s tail caught fire and fell from the sky. He tried to controlling it. He felt very fearful and excited.
Hero Action & Ending (1st ): I tried to control the airplane for saved everyone’s life. I could do it. I was very glad that I could save everyone’s life. Then they called me “hero”
Hero (3rd ): He tried to control the airplane for saved everyone’s life. He could do it. He was very glad that he could save everyone’s life. Then they called him “hero”
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